"I would disappear into a world that didn't exist."

Black. What's so wrong with wearing black? It's not a crime. It's not hurting anyone. But they comment anyway. And I guess it matters. And I guess they don't comment it as a good thing. And it just makes me even more determined to wear black again. Because that's me. And it shouldn't matter what color I wear.

The shadows lurk through the forest. You try and do a back flip. But it doesn't matter how long you practice, you always end up landing on your neck. Besides the usual, unessacary pain that runs through my fingertips, I feel good today. Keep it on the down-low. Here, this is my hate. Am I supposed to love here, too?

Of course I don't know who I am. Of course people have their ideas, their assumptions, their judgements. Of course. But if I don't even know me, how can somebody else?

Megan.

Why must this bother me?

Why must I be the weak one?

Questions I'm afraid I can't answer.

I've read too many books, too many quotes.

I was determined I'd get over him. Maybe it's the ones you truly love that leave you without answers.

Without solutions.

Every tear I've shed, every outburst I've given, they must have a reason.

Maybe, in the near future, there will be reason behind this. Maybe something amazing will happen, it'll clear up these cloudy days, and allow the sun to shine.

Allow the sun to show what's meant to be.

To show me that I must keep looking up, and miracles really do happen. It shall show me that reality can be a love story. That life really is a book, a perfect one, with a great ending. All these tears in the pages will turn out with something so great, so destinable, every little tear will mean nothing. And if not? I'll always have that one friend. That one person who will sit with me, in the dark, when it's impossible to look on the bright side. The one who will sit and cry with me. We all have things to cry about; all have tears to shed, words to speak, voices to hear. We'll do everything we can. Everything to make it better. And when times are tough, we'll think positive over negative, hope over fear, and destiny over change. We were given this life because we are strong enough to face it. I am too positive to be doubtful. Too optimistic to be fearful. And too determined to be defeated.

For now? I will let life go on.

I'll go with the flow. I'll let this world change, and see where it takes me. Until something happens, some twist or turn, some rising action or climax, I remain the shy girl I was.

Seems to be the only option I can rely on.

So, world? Keep turning. Keep moving.

I'm ready.

[[Sadly, this girl does not have a blog. I tried to convince her. She said maybe. I'll keep you posted if she does.]]

It's a battle between you and the wind.

The darkness surrounds you, consumes you, but you see the dim lights ahead.

You fight against the stronger force, knowing that it can beat you, but being too determined to stop.

Your imagination stabs you in the back.

But you move forward.

And you make it home, not because you want to, but because you have to.

So, every Friday I'll try to have a different person's view. If I can get people to write their opinions for me. I plan to just put my notebook in front of someone, look them in the eye, and say, "Write." I have someone for today. Look at the post above.

Molly.

Being understood.

I hate how it never seems to happen at all.

He's laughing one moment, fragile the next.

If this is what I can see from the back corner, why can't anyone else see it from the front of the room.

They think about materialistic items, judging others only on that. They think that talking about shooting Mexicans is funny. They think things like that. They think that this is all one big joke. But it's not. You have to be kind before you can stand up for yourself and tell the world you're a nice person.

That's one of my many opinions that are never voiced. My words are things not heard.

[[So I've decided to do this thing. I'll try to get different people each week, or something, to tell me their thoughts so I can post them hear. This is what I heard from Molly. The other ones will be different. They won't talk about the same things. Maybe I'll have some of the same people. You know? I don't have that many friends, so it'll be hard and different to ask people who are '"above me on the social scale."']]

OpenUpOpenUpOpenUp.

It's weird how warm you are one moment, and then another you're trying to escape the chills.

In class today we talked about cloning.

My opinion. For no one to see, hear, or care about.

It's disgusting.

Why would you clone something? Make the same thing over again? It's breaking how nature is. Everybody is different. EveryTHING is different. We don't need to clone to make things better.

Are humans really that greedy?

We need everything perfect? We need to live longer than we already do?

It's filthy.

Humanity is filthy.

But we're all apart of it.

The stupidity of us all is frightening.

Good thing miles separate people from other people. If we were all a whole, the world would be gone already.

Someone would start a war for not having enough room to put their things.

"Perhaps in the land of the cruel, the wise heart cannot be tolerated."

"A little bit of salt doesn't bother your skin. But that same small amount in an open wound can really, really sting." Bad day at school + really abnoxious people on school bus = ticked student. Ticked student = me. Why? Humanity is stupid, greedy, and pretty much hopeless. I don't believe in a lot of things. Like global warming or God, and going to Hell just because you didn't bow down to him. A lot of things. Like I don't believe the human race is capable of taking out the greed and putting in the care.

"It's always about comparisons. Kids measure eachother and then pretend they're not doing it."

I started thinking today, about what I want ot do.

I want to see the world. Not every last inch, but I want to get out of my small village and into some places, never really staying put and settling down, but never really packing up somewhere new everyday.

And then I started thinking some more.

I have a lot of daydreams. None of them come true.

How is this dream any different?

"Look right through me."

The weekend has been long. I skipped school Friday, with permission, to go to this district band thing. All day I was playing my instrument. It was amazing. All day I was playing Saturday, as well. And here I am, dreading a day of school tomorrow. But hey. I don't hate school at all. In fact, I love school. So I'm not exactly dreading it, but I'm not exactly jumping up and down and pissing myself for it, either.

I just hate that I'll go there and be my anti-social self again. You can tell me it's my own fault, and I'll agree with you. Because it is.

I just have this problem with opening up to people, I guess. I comment and I have my opinions, a lot of opinions, I just don't voice those opinions and thoughts as much as others.

What's the point?

People judge you on everything you do.

So why give them yet another thing for their judgement?

Words are our own weapons.

Let's just say I'm waiting for the perfect moment to explode.

Okay...nothing happened.

But now I'm back.

Bet you're excited.

"Arrive. Raise Hell. Leave."