OpenUpOpenUpOpenUp.

It's weird how warm you are one moment, and then another you're trying to escape the chills.

In class today we talked about cloning.

My opinion. For no one to see, hear, or care about.

It's disgusting.

Why would you clone something? Make the same thing over again? It's breaking how nature is. Everybody is different. EveryTHING is different. We don't need to clone to make things better.

Are humans really that greedy?

We need everything perfect? We need to live longer than we already do?

It's filthy.

Humanity is filthy.

But we're all apart of it.

The stupidity of us all is frightening.

Good thing miles separate people from other people. If we were all a whole, the world would be gone already.

Someone would start a war for not having enough room to put their things.

"Perhaps in the land of the cruel, the wise heart cannot be tolerated."

"A little bit of salt doesn't bother your skin. But that same small amount in an open wound can really, really sting." Bad day at school + really abnoxious people on school bus = ticked student. Ticked student = me. Why? Humanity is stupid, greedy, and pretty much hopeless. I don't believe in a lot of things. Like global warming or God, and going to Hell just because you didn't bow down to him. A lot of things. Like I don't believe the human race is capable of taking out the greed and putting in the care.

"It's always about comparisons. Kids measure eachother and then pretend they're not doing it."

I started thinking today, about what I want ot do.

I want to see the world. Not every last inch, but I want to get out of my small village and into some places, never really staying put and settling down, but never really packing up somewhere new everyday.

And then I started thinking some more.

I have a lot of daydreams. None of them come true.

How is this dream any different?

"Look right through me."

The weekend has been long. I skipped school Friday, with permission, to go to this district band thing. All day I was playing my instrument. It was amazing. All day I was playing Saturday, as well. And here I am, dreading a day of school tomorrow. But hey. I don't hate school at all. In fact, I love school. So I'm not exactly dreading it, but I'm not exactly jumping up and down and pissing myself for it, either.

I just hate that I'll go there and be my anti-social self again. You can tell me it's my own fault, and I'll agree with you. Because it is.

I just have this problem with opening up to people, I guess. I comment and I have my opinions, a lot of opinions, I just don't voice those opinions and thoughts as much as others.

What's the point?

People judge you on everything you do.

So why give them yet another thing for their judgement?

Words are our own weapons.

Let's just say I'm waiting for the perfect moment to explode.

Okay...nothing happened.

But now I'm back.

Bet you're excited.

"Arrive. Raise Hell. Leave."

"TP Dude. Out to wipe the asses of evil with the pulpy rolls of justice!"

So.

Tomorrow I'll be out of my town.

It might be fun.

Or it might suck.

But hopefully it'll be good.

"It always rains the hardest on the people who deserve the sun."

I don't really know what I deserve.

Today was crap. All of it, pretty much. All of it.

"Pushing his body on and on until everything had been drummed out of his mind."

Quote of the day- Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins.

Today was okay. I yelled at our gym teacher, band class was amazing, as usual, and study hall (advisory) was hilarious.

Of course, I have a test tomorrow that I choose not to study for until the last minute.

Literally.

What the hell, I'm a procrastinator. Sorry.

Right now? I'm planning to read. An amazing book about a serial killer.

Yeah.

And what did I just finish doing?

I just finished drawing a watch on my wrist in permanent marker.

Life is good when you're that nerdy.

Or, well, sometimes. Kind of.

But I'd rather be the nerdy, anti-social, loser, freak that I am, instead of some preppy jock person who's exactly the same as everyone else.

"A little rebellion now and then is a good thing."

Quote for the day, how about it.

Well, I said I'd try to make things a little bright sometimes.

Because we know I'm just a ray of freaking sunshine.

But, hey.

I'll do my best.

Earlier this morning there was a huge thunderstorm.

I find beauty in that.

The lightning, the thunder, the sounds, the rain.

It's all pretty amazing.

But what's really cool?

How an hour later it's warm as heck, not raining at all, and the sun is out.

Makes me believe there are some things out there that go from bad to good.

And then good to better.

So, happy enough?

I could probably draw a picture of rainbows and unicorns, but who am I kidding.

We all know I'd rather draw a pegasus with a cyclops on it's back, carrying a javelin, ready to spear the sorry soul that got in his way, flying under a beautiful storm, like the one that occured this morning.

So I COULD draw the picture of rainbows.

But I choose not to.

Honestly?

I'm not that bad.

I don't complain all the time, I'm not always ticked, I'm not depressed.

But it seems as if I'm making myself sound that way.

I just planned to get all of my hate out here.

I guess I can let good things run through these fingertips, too.

Sometimes.

People are stupid.

It's a given.

People are annoying.

It's managable.

People are mean.

And it's making me angry.

Every. Freaking. Day. Something. Happens.

Maybe it's small.

Maybe someone will just move my stuff from a desk so they can sit there.

That's not that bad.

But it'll still get me ticked.

Why?

Because I'm tired.

Not physically tired, just tired of people.

And so now those small little mean things make me pissed.

And I'm starting to react instead of just letting them do it.

-earlier today-

These group of girls run into me in the hallways.

"Oh, thanks for, you know, running into me," I say, loud enough for them to hear, a sarcastic and angry tone in my voice.

The one girl just turns around, a smile playing on her face, her peppy ponytail bobbing.

"You're welcome," she tells me cheerfully, making fun of me.

I scoff and walk away, shaking my head.

-back to present-

It just upsets me.

To put it in nice terms.

It bugs the f*cking sh!t out of me.

But, hey. I'm slowly cracking.

I'll stand up and say something back someday.

I need to talk.

I mean, I really need to talk.

Out loud.

To people.